Me. At least after what I've been through.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
