That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
