is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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