i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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