I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She's the barista slut.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
