have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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