i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
