i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
