He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize