I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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