Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
