We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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