So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
