I don't think brook has ever known best
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
