i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
