Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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