Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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