My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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