I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We don't watch enough power rangers
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
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