which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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