If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
