im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
