its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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