he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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