WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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