her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I can't turn off my feet"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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