So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize