have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
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