At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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