"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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