I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
