Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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