I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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