In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
time to smoke my breakfast
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
