We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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