a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize