We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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