I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize