i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I need a beard to bite.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
