I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize