Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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