not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize