The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He passed out mid-signature
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
