This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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