just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
