he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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