I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
