who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
