Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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