i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize