I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i came on her dog
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
i think we sleep fucked last night...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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