Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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