There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
