you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
