It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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