how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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