We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
