Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
