Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
