Buhtt sex?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
