I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
