im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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