I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
