And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize