My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
