Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
