Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
