Whatcha textin bout Willis?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
