when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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